"I don't want to be a burden."

Truth or Cop Out? The correct answer is obvious, right?

Burden is a word that creates a reflexive moving away from an other, a distance. Burden connotes a loadedness, an oppressiveness, an innate discomfort and weight. Now when I hear this word, I have to ask myself, “Is any human capable of being a burden in their authentic needs?” I also question, “Is any human capable of being a burden in their wounds?”

The answer I would give between the two questions is a solid yes to both. Yet there is nuance. Responding to the authentic need of another creates a potential for connection, relatedness, intimacy and vulernbility. All of these things that build relationship and grow connection. Responding to wound means that we are more likely to resent or feel burdened because with wound comes hardening and lack of relatability. Filling someones needs that stem from wounds is not relational. Fulfilling someones needs that stem from the core is.

Need does not create burden when there is mutual interest and relationship with the person you are asking fo…